FAMILIES
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No More Excuses - "Attention Deficit Disorder is the reason why many people cannot focus, why they cannot recall or remember, read or complete a task. It may even be why our children are so troubled today. However, it is only a reason, not an excuse." J. Kubik - 1998 |
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PARENT-STUDENT
AD/HD in the Family |
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| QUICK LINKS: |
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| Call to setup one of these presentations in your community: | |
| "The Successful AD/HD Student" (2 hrs) | |
| "When the Parent and Child have AD/HD"(2 hrs) | |
| "Collaborative Solutions for Adults with AD/HD" (2 hrs) | |
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Family Coaching AD/HD affects the whole family. That is not to say that the person with AD/HD is the cause of family disagreements or troubles; nor does it say that you are a bad parent or that your child is willful and chooses to make his life difficult. AD/HD is a complex disability and until the person with AD/HD can understand how they think differently, it will always be difficult for them to understand what it means to be "off task." I am an adult with AD/HD. I work to help students and their families understand just how AD/HD affects so many aspects of their life. Until they understand that their thought process is different, it will be difficult for them to implement the skills consistently that you - the parent - are teaching them. When the results are not effective, then everyone is frustrated and aggravated. Coaching
begins with a unique way of describing and understanding how AD/HD affects
the individual and the family over a lifetime. The first two sessions
are with the family and from there I work with the student (and a parent
if they wish) on specific issues and concerns. Each session requires
the student or family to practice a skill or to observe a behavior before
returning for the next appointment. After going through the first 2-3
sessions, you can continue coaching to address some of the topics listed
below. Some coaching is done over the telephone. |
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| Coaching Topics: |
| Working together as a family to respect the time of others |
| Communication/Interactive Skills |
| Managing angry outbursts |
| Responsible planning skills |
| Help students to manage homework |
| Using Behavior Response strategies |
| Creating workable lists |
| The study environment |
Call 1-440-933-8309 to setup an appointment or email: kubikja@bridgetosuccess.net
Two-Day Conference Presented by Joyce A. Kubik, AD/HD Coach
The two-day
conference involves the parent, student and often the educators. This intense
and fun conference is hands-on. You will break out into groups; see videos;
exercises with students; and more. Students will see their select video and
participate in a break out session with other students, as well as interacting
with parents or educators. No one goes home wondering what to do next. Clear
and understandable materials are included in the conference.
How to bring a 2-day conference to your area? Click on the following links
to learn more:
PDF: How To Bring A Conference To Your Area?
PDF: OUTLINE of Two-Day AD/HD Conference Schedule: A Family Affair
Contact Information: 1-440-933-8309 or kubikja@bridgetosuccess.net
Help for Families
Where Do I Begin?
The most likely place to begin is with a psychologist, therapist, or a neurologist
that works with childhood AD/HD. Before going to your first appointment, try
these steps:
1. Read one
of the following books to get a good understanding of what it means to have
AD/HD.
| a. Driven To Distraction"
and "Answers to Driven To Distraction" by Hallowell and Ratey b. Women With Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden c. Understanding Girls With AD/HD and Understanding Women with AD/HD by Nadeau, Littman and Quinn d. A Mind At A Time, and Ready or not, Here I Come, by Mel Levine |
2. Spend a few weeks monitoring your child's, or your own, behaviors, and moods. This will provide the physician with a better understanding of how often you are struggling. MONITOR BEHAVIORS
3. Talk to others in your area about who is well versed in AD/HD.
4. Make your appointment.
5. Bring your log and other notes with you to the visit.
6. A thorough
diagnosis should take anywhere from 3 to 7 visits with the doctor. If you
are not satisfied with your diagnosis, then seek a second opinion. Listen
for these red flags in your physician's response:
| a. He or she is just
a teen or the middle child b. You are just a nervous mom; back off and don't let things bother you. c. You (the parent) just need a break d. He (your physician) does not believe in AD/HD e. Treat it with nutrition (if it works, then it is not AD/HD) f. The statement is made, "It's ADD" without a psychological workup or after just a few questions. |
7. Schools provide evaluations at your request, but they don't always agree with or interact with your psychologist or therapist. As a parent, you will need to determine which report is in the best interest of your child. Once you receive a diagnosis of AD/HD it is time to begin a treatment plan.
8. Understand that a good treatment plan involves more than medication. The article "Treating Attention Deficits the Smart Way" is part of a series of 10 articles you can purchase, and will help you in discussing this matter with your physician. View the articles and theBack-To-School series HERE
9. Learn more about Gender Issues and AD/HD: Patricia Quinn, M.D. and Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D. are co-founders of The National Center for Gender Issues and AD/HD. For more information visit their websites at: www.addvance.com and the Center for Gender Issues at: www.NCGIADD.org. Their book Gender Issues and AD/HD (ISBN 0-9714609-2-2) is about research, diagnosis and treatment.
A word about medication:
REMEMBER: MEDICATION ALONE IS NOT THE ANSWER.
This is very important. No medication is going to correct the years of buried memories and disappointments. No medication is going to correct learned behavior, or coping skills put into place as a coping tool to get through the day. Good nutrition is always helpful, but not the answer. The article "Nutrition is Not the Key to AD/HD" is also part of the 10 articles in the series: AD/HD Life-time Series. The combination of medication, therapy and coaching for life skills is the most effective way to manage AD/HD issues and concerns.
Tips On Taking Medications
Consistency
is extremely important - Consistency gives you the most benefits - Taking
medicine with water is the safest way - Take your medication one hour before
or after consuming these liquids:
| Orange/Grapefruit Juice Milk Vitamin C (Ascorbic Acid) |
Carbonated beverages Caffeine |
Note to Parents: I know how difficult
it is to raise a child with attentional difficulties. In addition, when you
have AD/HD yourself, as I do, it makes life even more difficult to manage.
It seems as though nothing can go right in your life. You spin your wheels
day after day after day. You yell and scream out of frustration and can never
see the light at the end of the tunnel. I spent many days and nights trying
to help my family and myself come together as a family.
Four years later, our family looks forward to seeing one another. We moved forward and learned not to look back on those days when we did not understand this very misunderstood disorder. Don't give up!
S.C.O.P.E.
(Student Centered Outcome Plan and Evaluation)
This wonderful workbook is about students observing their own behaviors. They
choose a behavior that seems to repeat itself daily or causes problems at
home or school. They chart and graph their behavior prior to an IEP or Section
504 Plan is designed. This allows the student to begin building his own strategies
by what he sees. This is far more powerful than any discipline you can implement.
They observe a behavior, try to correct it, build a strategy and slowly become
accountable for his or her behaviors. Very often the IEP or Section 504 is
less intrusive when the student first observes his or her behaviors. Many
behaviors and academic concerns are changed by learning effective life skills.
Questions? Email:kubikja@bridgetosuccess.net.
Note to Students: The most difficult place
for any student with AD/HD is in school. I found it very difficult and I always
felt misunderstood. However, we cannot change the fact that this is the primary
place we receive our education. We can change the perception others have of
us by becoming educated in how AD/HD affects our daily lives.
It is so easy for us to blame others, and become defensive. Day after day, we try to please those around us as we slowly lose our own identity in our search for gratification. It is time to identify your own learning methods and put them into actions. The goal is to move forward into a world where many rewards are waiting for you.
Check out these
books:
Joey Piggza Loses Control by Jack Gantos.
Joey Piggza Swallowed the Key by Jack Gantos.
Click for www.additudemag.com for a great
family magazine